It’s a question that grates. Not necessarily every day, but sometimes in the silence after one too many drinks. In the feeling of not quite remembering the evening. Or in those moments when something inside you whispers that it’s time to look at yourself in the mirror – without a filter.
But what does it really mean to be an ‘alcoholic’? Is it when you drink every day? When you can’t stop? When your life falls apart? Sitting and howling in the park? Or could it be something more subtle – like why you drink in the first place?
Why do I drink?
That question is more powerful than it might first appear. Because it opens the door to something deeper. Many people don’t drink because it’s good, or because it’s a party. They drink to get away from something: stress, restlessness, worry, loneliness. Or to avoid feeling at all.
For others, it is a social glue. Something that makes socializing flow, conversations feel natural, relationships stick together. But it raises an important follow-up question:
Would the same relationships be there without the alcohol?
Do I need to drink?
When alcohol becomes a natural part of everyday life – Friday, Saturday, Sunday. A glass with dinner. A glass to unwind. A drink because it’s the weekend. A drink because you’re worth it – then it can be hard to imagine life without it.
But that’s why it might be worth thinking about: Do I need this? Or have I just gotten used to living with a constant, low dose of anesthesia?
Regular drinking affects more than you might think. It makes it harder to find the inner calm. More difficult to be present in the moment. More difficult to know oneself. Alcohol can temporarily calm anxiety – but in the long run it creates more. It dulls the senses, dampens deeper emotions, and makes it harder to live fully. It takes the edge off life – both the hard and the beautiful.
Am I drinking to escape?
This is perhaps the most uncomfortable yet most important question to ask. For many, alcohol is not the problem – it is the solution. To something. To something you haven’t dared to feel. Or don’t know how to handle.
Asking yourself the question “what am I trying to avoid feeling?” can be the start of a great inner journey. Because what we don’t want to face when sober often has much more to do with our inner self than with alcohol itself.
Can I socialize without it?
It’s also worth looking at how your social life is structured. If all meetings, all parties, all weekends and all vacations include alcohol – what happens if you take it out of the equation? Can you be yourself? Do you dare to be in the silence? Do you feel included, or excluded?
Alcohol often acts as a social crutch. Removing it can be jarring – but it also reveals which relationships have depth, and which may rely more on mutual anesthesia.
There is only one who knows
There are no tests, checklists or diagnoses that can tell you for sure if you are an alcoholic. There is only one person who can give an honest answer – and that is you.
But only if you dare to be completely honest.
Ask the questions:
- Why do I drink, really?
- Can I be present and calm without alcohol?
- What happens in me when I abstain?
- Is this a life I’ve chosen – or a pattern I’m stuck in?
And perhaps most importantly:
What would my life look like if I was completely sober for three months?
Not as a punishment. Not as evidence. But as an experiment in self-awareness.
Because it’s only when we strip away the distractions and numbing that we really see who we are. For real.
With heat,
Patrik Brännfors
Co-Founder, Reset
